I want YOU!

I remember the recruitment poster years ago that had the stern man dressed in red, white and blue, pointing at the viewer, with the words, "Uncle Sam Wants YOU!" emblazoned at the bottom of the poster. Since my maiden name initials are SAM, I saw some sort of loose connection between that poster and the point of this post. However, in browsing through Google images, it appears as though everyone else in the world has had the idea of taking that image and personalizing it. So, never mind.

But, I do want YOU.

Yes, you. And everyone else you know.

I am a professional life coach who would like to be coaching a whole lot more. Right now, I just want to get lots and lots of experience coaching people. Which means, I'll do it for free.

A few FAQs for you.

What do you mean by coaching?

A coach is akin to a really great partner, interested in supporting you in every success. Coaches are trained to ask you powerful questions related to what YOU want in any given area of your life.

What's in it for me to get a free coaching session?

For some, it's the experience of something new. For others, there's a new understanding of innate gifts and talents and abilities and wisdom. For still others, a coaching session helps them find an answer to some current question that they have. For you, it might be one or more of those, or something completely different. What is YOUR answer to that question?

Why you, Susan Taylor?

Because I am living proof that a coaching relationship can be instrumental in helping someone make changes they have dreamed of for a long time. Because I love coaching and I have been told by several people that I ask really good questions. Because I have professional training.

Are you trying to sell me something?

NO, I am not trying to sell you something. I want to get more experience. I love doing this. The only "cost" to you is 45-60 minutes of your time.

Can I do this later?

And to that I would say, does later ever come for you?

Is this like therapy?

I am not a therapist, nor do I play one on TV. Therapy delves deep into family dynamics, losses, the past, and other areas that need healing. Coaching deals with the present, with what is presently important to you.

But I don't live near you.

You don't have to, because I work via the telephone. If you are out of the U.S., I can work via Skype. Within the U.S., cell phone or landline are both perfect for coaching.

I've heard there's no such thing as a free lunch, so I'm still having trouble believing this is free.

What does "free" mean to you? See what I mean about the powerful questions?

How can I get in touch with you to schedule a free session?

If we are Facebook friends, you may message me on Facebook. I can also be reached via email at southwind@fuse.net.

Remember, I want YOU.

InJOY,
Susan

On Being and Becoming

My parents were fun-loving people who said and believed I could do anything I set my mind to.

Typical for parents in the 60s, though, their authoritarian parenting style coupled with my own serious personality unintentionally sabotaged that belief. More caught than taught, I got the idea early on that what i set my mind to was probably the wrong thing and this undermined my ability to dream. For years I remembered and rehearsed all the scary things that went wrong in my childhood -- a broken wrist, a broken leg, scary images of my father in physical pain, unexpected losses. 

The street I grew up on could have been located in Ward and June Cleaver's neighborhood, but ours had a slightly darker twist. We did play baseball in the cul-de-sac, football in the neighbor's backyard, and

jacks on the front porch. 

And while I understand now that into each life a little rain much fall, back then all the difficult things I felt and saw, even on my idyllic street, seemed indications that something was desperately wrong with my world, and by extension, with me.

Although I did well in school, with awards, recognition, and ribbons, I also have memories of

painful experiences. Mrs. Brown, one of the teachers, had died; another time the beloved library had been vandalized; and of course the usual thoughtless childish behaviors and cruelties.

I consider myself to have had wonderful parents and a sweet childhood, but during that sweet 
childhood, life felt very frightening and overwhelming to me.

Life offered new possibilities when, through no real intention on my part, I ended up at a college

that "had me at hello," as Renee Zellweger's character said in the movie, Jerry McGuire. I finished my college years with brain and heart full of beauty and inspiration from the people and experiences I met there.

I married my husband, Greg, on Groundhog Day, just two months after completely my undergraduate coursework. Thus began phase two of my life. Preferring to delay starting a family, we had time to get

to know each other and craft our philosophy about marriage, family, education and life. Among the many places we lived during those years, we spent 16 months in the beautiful country of Australia, working and enjoying the friendly, laidback people and places.

Returning to the US, we embarked on the next leg of our journey -- parenthood. Our first three children, a daughter and two sons, were born in less than three years.

Parenting by immersion at this speed demanded we learn fast! Our fourth child, another girl, arrived three years later, and then our youngest was born in 2006, years after we had imagined our family was pretty well complete.

The early years of motherhood were marvelous, filled with the wonder of seeing the world through a child's eyes and understanding

and filled with the joy of watching these incredible little people learn things, which they did as easily as a sponge fills with water in a full bucket. Since our youngest was born with Down syndrome, the adjustment to a late in life baby was compounded by the shock of now being parents of a special needs child, something I never in a million years expected.

By the time our baby was toddling around, the oldest three had become teenagers. and suddenly I got in touch again with those feelings from childhood when the world felt scary and overwhelming.

Here I was in that same place again, only this time the fear and overwhelm were owing to these teenage children whose brains had become only marginally functional, judging by things they were saying and doing. Who were these strange people? Where did those sweet babies go?

Motherhood has seasons, and this was the rainy season of my discontent.

Thanks to that difficult time, though, I started on a journey to make sense of my life. The religious upbringing of my childhood had simply formed and then cemented my fears and overwhelm about the world by teaching me that at my core I was defective, anything I wanted was wrong, anything I did well was to be denigrated, and anything I thought should be treated as suspect.

When I attended Unleash the Power Within in February of 2011, I heard a new message that resonated with me -- that at the core I just am, what I want is worth considering, and what I think is worth listening to. 

After nearly drowning in the turbulence of my previous mindset, I opened up to the idea that possibilities for peace and joy might still be available to me in my lifetime. Thus began phase three.

Through several key relationships and experiences, those childhood fears and overwhelm have been released. They still drop in now and again, but they have little power to grip me and hold me tight.

Still in the thick of motherhood, I have added a new aspect to my career path. As a life coach, I am facilitating clients getting in touch with their own resourcefulness and resilience.

As author Marianne Williamson said,

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear in that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the World.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking
so that other people won’t feel unsure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine,
we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,

our presence automatically liberates others."

I think we actually experience both of those fears, and it is in facing both that we become more resourceful and resilient. As I move away from an either/or paradigm toward a both/and understanding of life, I now know I am able to do anything I set my mind to.

.

Overlooking I-294

Life is a highway.
Remember Lightning McQueen from the Pixar movie, Cars? How he learned some life lessons and "life is a highway" played in the background of the show? 

I was sitting at the Hinsdale Oasis on East I-294 outside Chicago a couple of days ago and this song popped into my mind. I was ruminating on the events of the previous half hour when I had dropped our son off for a camp that we believe will offer him some new opportunities and experiences. Yet, getting him to the drop-off point had involved some herculean efforts. As the camp bus drove north, and I drove south, I was aware of a plenum of emotions in my brain.

(Isn't plenum a juicy word? New to me -- it means the condition of being full, which my brain certainly was.)

I wrote: I am sitting above the highway right now. The cars and trucks coming toward me move under their own power. I have nothing to do with their forward movement, or lack of it. I have power only to move my own car forward as I drive. It is time to literally take my hands off the wheel of anyone else's car. Others are completely capable of driving their own cars.

Who knows? I cannot really imagine what comes next on anyone's path or drive. Oh, I can have a general idea. The cars and trucks below me are going to see more highway while they are on the highway, but that is about the extent of what I can really know.

Each person in a vehicle is I.

Each driver is listening to something, or not. Paying close attention to the road or having divided attention. Smoking, eating, drinking, hands on the wheel, driving with knees. Smelling different things and in varying intensities and degrees. Having a different experience of what the environment of their car feels like to them, caring more or less about how clean their car is. Hungry, tired, energized, excited. Running late. Feeling groovy.

Any driver might be feeling connected to God, or their Divine Source. May be feeling isolated, even if they are in a car with others.

I drive my car.

I don't drive anyone else's. I may have the opportunity to give directions to someone, but giving directions these days doesn't happen too much as we all have phones with gps or gps gadgets in our cars.

I drive my car.

I trust. I release. I am open to how my son chooses to "drive his car" during this upcoming opportunity. I gave him the best directions I could to get him to the jumping-off point that we believed would serve him and now I leave the rest of the journey in his hands. He is resourceful. He is capable. His smile lights up his face.

The cars heading east (toward me) are moving easily and quickly down the road. Those heading west right over there are moving very slowly. Just like us. Moving faster or slower. Sometimes, moving slowly in traffic is nice because it gives us more time to prepare or to think or to listen to a good story or the rest of a great song.

Slow isn't good or bad or better or worse; it's just slow. And slow only exists in relation to something else. There is no objective definition of slow. It is very much a perception. When we consider how fast objects move through space, the fastest thing on earth is moving slowly, but when we consider the pace of evolution, even the slowest thing I can imagine is moving along at a quite a clip.

Perception, perception, perception. There are those who would find the Hinsdale Oasis as a place for writing to feel unsafe because of the cars and trucks driving directly toward this spot. I find it energizing to be here, looking out at the traffic and realizing there is a connection to my experience.

What do you believe about driving your own car? About driving someone else's?

How freeing to realize that there are as many ways to do life as there are people in the world, as there are different cars and trucks passing underneath this spot where I am right now.

For now,
inJOY

Welcome!

You have arrived at the Clearing Space for Joy blog. What do you think so far?

I have arrived at Clearing Space For Joy as well, but maybe via a different path. Pull your chair up a little closer and read on.

My journey started back in the last century when I was born at a very young age. (h/t to my father for that oldie, but goodie). My nature was and is someone who tends to the serious side, taking life and its events seriously and conscientiously tries to do the right thing. That has served me well, actually. I made it through kindergarten, after a rough first few days, then grade school, junior and senior high, and finally completed my undergraduate work at Wheaton College, earning my degree in psychology.

Along the way, my joyful side emerged.

I am a helper. I love assisting other people. That is what made me a welcome volunteer in multiple roles, a listening friend, a very good secretary and employee, a helpmeet to my husband, and a loving mother to my children.

I am a learner. I have a passion for learning. Learning new things. Learning to do something a different or better way. Learning to ask better questions. Learning what it means to love.

I am a teacher. I naturally move into a teaching role whenever I have the opportunity. My educational philosophy became well-formed through my exposure to adventure education and experiential learning. How I love to learn by doing!

I am a coach. Having been trained by some of the leaders in the forefront of the coaching movement, Peter Reding and Marcia Collins, and having been coached by a most outstanding Tony Robbins Research Coach, Dave Blomsterberg, the professional life coach that I wanted to be has become the professional life coach that I am.

The International Coach Federation sets the standards for life coaches and defines coaching as

partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.

Coach for Life expands that definition:

Through the process of coaching, clients deepen their learning, improve their performance, and enhance their quality of life.

Coaching combines my love of learning, my desire to help, my teacher’s heart and my celebration of life!

I invite you to join me on Clearing Space for Joy by reading my posts, leaving comments, and sharing my blog with your friends. You will learn much more about the wonderful process of life coaching and what value this special type of relationship can bring to you. May you be inspired to reach for more joy in your life.

For now,

inJOY